A New YEAR

Dear Friends,

It’s now a New Year. I can easily look back and see right where I was this time last year. I was sitting in a little house on Aigburth Park Road with my good friend Meredith who had just arrived in a Belfast airport along with my house mate Sally. At the time I could not look ahead and imagine where I would be today--or what kind of adventures I would tackle along the way to get here.

I have spent the last 5 months in what the YAV program has labeled the wilderness. I learned all about the wilderness at the YAV reentry retreat in Oct when all of the YAVs went to the Ghost Ranch, a Presbyterian conference center in New Mexico. I got to visit with my Belfast YAV friends all except Nathanial who is now back in Belfast. It was a hard weekend and a great one all at the same time. It was comforting to be surrounded by others who have experienced a similar year as me. It was a weekend filled with lots of tears and laughter. Sadly it was the most recent time I have seen my YAV friends but I am sure it will not be the last.

I have discovered that a part of my wondering in the wilderness has included traveling. When I first returned to the States I did not go straight to FL. I got off in New Jersey where I got to stay with Meredith saw her for the first time since last January. Together we traveled to the city my dad was born in and visited my Godparents and my Aunt Naomi as well as going to visit her grandparents. We spent time in New Jersey with her wonderful family. I than drove her to Hollins and helped her get moved in for the semester, before heading to FL. I also have made a trip out to San Francisco which for those of you in Brittan is a three day drive cross county; luckily I had a plain ticket. There I was reunited with Rachel who is going to seminary out there. I got to visit with all her wonderful friends. We had a great time walking the streets of the city and going on hikes.

When I first got to FL I truly had no plan no places. Luckily my parents have offered me a place to live. And I moved back in to the room I lived in during high school. I spent the first 2 weeks putting things in and out of boxes. Removing objects that felt strange to me and putting out the things that were familiar from my time at Hollins and in Belfast. 5 years is a long time to live away than come back. I am happy to say I have settled in better now. The things that felt foreign and strange are slowly becoming familiar again and bring with them memories of my past. I have gotten a part time job as a Godly Play story teller at the children’s Hospital I worked at in High school. I am very blessed to not only have a job but one where I feel I am doing something positive. I also am contracted to dance with a local dance company here in Jacksonville for a few of there spring performances. My job ends in May so I am still constantly searching for the next step and next places to go. I am hoping to head north. But we will see where the wind blows me.

The wilderness is frightening--the number of people unemployed or underemployed is frighteningly high. The number of empty houses on my street because family’s homes were foreclosed is overwhelming. So for now I have given in to the wilderness; fighting the unknown is an impossible feat. One that I have discovered is exhausting. It’s better to just wonder for awhile. The wilderness is always hard and it’s always scary but once you have come out your always stronger than before your went in. So I have enjoyed being near my family-- going to see Taylor play cello--helped Timmy with his technical theater projects--going to movies with Trevor and Kim and being a part of worship services my parents have led. I also got to spend Christmas back with friends I have not seen in a long time including my godson. If the wilderness has so many moments of blessing I can keep facing it.

I spent a lot of time thinking and praying for my friends whether there in California, Pennsylvania, Utah, New Jersey, Virginia, Scotland or Belfast. I am sad that I am not with all these people whom I love and who have supported me along my journey. However I am so blessed to have each of you as a part of life’s journey and will be forever thankful for you.

In Christ and Love Patricia