Taking off my wristwatch

Taking off my wristwatch is an old habit one that started in the 6th grade. There was a dress code for dance class. Hair was in a bun with a hair net gelled back no loess end and absolutely no bangs or hair in faces. Pink tights and black leotards, with pink ballet shoes or point shoes. Or if it was modern class black tights rolled up to my knees. There was also no jewelry or panted nails so every day I got in to the habit of taking of my watch and putting it in my tennis shoe so I would not forget it as I ran to math class after dance. It became a ritual a habit that was just apart of whom I am. My very first dance class at Hollins I was in the dressing room and I asked what the dress code was and the other women all older than me just smiled and said there wasn’t one. It funny how habits die hard I had to wean my self in to being comfortable dancing with out the leotard and tights. First by warring trouser on top of my tights and leotard than I started warring a shirt over as well, till finely I was confidant dancing in clothing similar to what people would wear to a yoga class. I also cut bangs in to my hair for the first time my senior year. Now you really would have to pay me to put a leotard back on. Taking off the watch and putting it in my shoe has stuck how ever. It’s the dance class habit from six grad that has stuck.

I realized this on Wednesday when I took off my watch and stuck it in my shoe as I walked in to the pro dance class I take with Maiden Voyage Dance Company. Taking off my watch is practical yes, it does mean I will not scratch up the flour and not wearing it makes it essayer to move. It also means I let go of time for that hour and a half I not checking to see how much time is left or if its getting close to when I need to get on the bus all that matters is the class. I try to dance as best I can and let go of schedule and list of earned that have to get done. I also try to let go of every thing that came before and the harder one for me right now the future. Inside I try to dance in the present I try to find a flow where all that matters is the sequences of movements where the hold world would be crashing around me but all I know is the dancing.

I have four weeks lefts working at Garnerville and Good-bye have already begun. I was given one of the nicest goody byes from my students at the primary school. And we had are final dance class together. Thursday was my last after schools club and today I am have a party get together for the group of dancer I have been working with at church. I’m trying to take of the wristwatch. Trying to give the people I have worked with my completely present when I am with them. I will not lie it hard it so hard. I am fearful of the future not knowing is scary not knowing what I will be doing who I will be near is stressful. How ever I have not been forgotten. I have loved the people and places I have worked with this year and even thou I do have to think about time I have to fill out job applications. And think about health insurance and how to pay the bills. I am going to do my best to take off my wristwatch and be present with my Belfast family.






This moth I traveled to London with Andy and his friend Katie we had a great time. I took professionals drop in class at the places contemporary school of dance. We went to museums and slaw a couple of shows including Henry the IV at the Shakespeare glob.

I do have some very exacting things to look forward to as well my Family is coming very soon in 4 weeks! My parent and my brothers are coming over and I can’t wait to share with them the places and people I have grown to love. We are also going to travel and spend time with good friends in Scotland. Than I get to fly to the states and see Meredith and Rachel and that moment when I give them each a hug and probably cry like a baby can not get hear fast enough.

All I want is to dance and help

I have been very busy the last moth or so. Work has been excited with several different things.

We had a Sunday school away weekend at a place called child haven. We took the kids there and played games, made crafts played rounder’s (which is really just baseball it took me a few hits how ever to figer that out) worshiped together, rolled down hills. And made daisy chains. I had a great time will all my Garnerville friends the leader had a tendency to stay up very late chatting.

Also we had our childernday church services this past week where I was coned in to teaching a school from camp Montgomery. One with dance moves and sounds. I secretly loved every min of it. It was also one of many ends that are beginning to happen. I realized I would not be a Sunday school teacher in the fall. I am going to miss the later of the other teacher’s trumdisly not to mention a huge number of kids who have made me laugh and played ever game I taught. I feel I belong with this group of people. They have become my family.

Even though things are ending as the school year comes to another close I still have lots to look to before I return to the states. I am still teaching in the school on Fridays so I have dance class to prepare. I am even giving the school assemble this week. I am also co leading and creating VBS for the summer it called J-team at Garnerville. And I am very excited for that it is the first week of July. I am also in a dance for film by a local Belfast coregerfer who I have met at the dancer research base hear in Belfast. We start rehusing Thursday. And I have great YAV friends hear to hang out with for another couple of months. I went to Lisburn this past weekend to visit my friends Rob and Andy.

Andy is helping me by collaborating and composing a score for a dance I am make based on interviews I have had with older church member in Belfast. I am interested in childhood memories told 70 years later. What things remain what and is the facts left in or memory’s and how have exercised changes are views. I am hoping to turn it in to a dance for film. Before my time in Belfast runs out.

My groups of dancer at church are doing something very exciting. Rachel for my Birthday gave me a book called “An Alter In The World” by Barbra Brown Taylor. (Rachel is so good and know just what I need to read) it all about seeing the holy in the every day the chapter I read to the dancer was on god in nacher in the natural alters God has made. SO They are making the dance. I had each for them go out side and find an object study learn as much as the y could about it. Than make a solo around there object. And they are some of the most bueful dances I have ever seen. They are simply and thoughtful each step they take is mindful. It makes me want to be 12 agene almost.

Also my family comes at the end of July and we are going to travel till mid august together which is exciting. However the time after that is scary I am not sure where I am going or what I am going to do. I would rather keep living in these moments. Than move into the unknown that is so donating. I was very distort about it today I was talking to Meredith and was asked “well Tricia what do you want to do what will make you happy” and I answered that I did not know. It all seems so dark and with out any light at the end of the tunnel. I am so blessed to have friends who love me even when I am grumpy and afraid thank Meredith, Rachel, Mom, Dad, Andy, Rob, Peter, Aunt Fonda and every one else who has listened to me frit and worry these last few months I love you all.

Funnily how ever this evening I found comfort in my own words. The class of 2010 websites are up on Hollins dance and after looking throw them being very prod of my friends and there work. I vested my own web site and reread my artiest statement. It’s posted below. I found the words I wrote last year to be the same this year. I think dance is my vehicle for change. And how I am able to view the world what that means I have NO idea. But I find some comfort in realizing I do have an idea of what I am good at and how I make a difference.





Artist’s Statement


Not an end but a new beginning


I have quite a few works but I don’t want to talk about them individually but instead about why I choose to dance and make dances. I have been dancing for as long as I can remember. Not dancing would be similar to not breathing.


I like process, not just my own, but also others. I like the time spent in rehearsals and in movement class. It sustains me when I enter a studio. I leave every thing else at the door.
I make work that reflects my history. I find an idea that I am interested in and try and learn everything there is to know about it. I research a subject as if I am writing a research paper, but instead of writing a paper I create a dance. I often look at what is next to the idea instead of the idea itself. I choose a process or a game that best fits the idea in order to create movement. It’s different with each dance.


The ideas come from my family history, cell phones, Dr. Seuss, and musical theatre. Often my dances are commenting on these ideas and how they have affected my life, or many people’s lives. I believe you can say things in dances you could never get away with in words. Dancing is how I have gotten through a world that is so heavily dependent on words. But words are so often misunderstood and mixed up or spelled wrong for me. But my dancing body always seems to say what I ask it to or it informs me what it is thinking.


For me a dance “lives” not necessarily on the stage but in the interactions between me and the dancers I have asked to work with me. Just the fact that they are willing to spend the time to come and play my dance making games is an honor. At some point you have to let go of the dance and let the dancers hold the dance up. They are the ones on the stage. I try my best to create a rehearsal space that is healthy and useful for both the dancers, who are my friends, and myself. I hope they leave feeling that I value their time and ideas.


All I want is to dance and help. It is impossible to change the whole world. But with hard work and planning it is possible to make change in this world. I believe dance is the gift I was given as my vehicle for change.


“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life thought the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” –Dr. Seuss


“Public art hence becomes a vehicle of connection, a means to realize and recognize the common, a medium for people to gather together to reflect on the very idea of being together.” – Randy Martin

"You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time."

April disappeared I am not sure when or how it came and went far to quickly. Last Month Rachel came to visit she was meant to have stayed here for a two weeks spending some time is Scotland with a friend than time with me in Belfast. After that her mother came over and met her in Dublin and the traveled together for a week. However the craziest thing happened a Volcano erupted in green land and I got to keep her for another week! Which I love but for two tried travelers who where expecting to go home it was trying.







Rachel spent some time with me and the other volunteers we hiked cave hill. We also went on a day trip up the north cost with Leslie who I grow up with and danced with in FL she had come to






Belfast for a wedding. I also took Rachel to the St. Gorges Market which is where many of the volunteers and I meet up many of a Saturday morning to eat hear live music and look and lots of venders sealing hand made crafts and freshly backed bread.

After an extra night in Dublin and we discovered that they where not going to be leaving Ireland until a week after they where meant to go home. We came back up to Belfast. Rachel’s mom enjoyed having a kitchen I don’t think I was allowed to wash a dish all week. Together they explored the city as I went to work. We also spent a day in Bangor and the folk museum. I was also Luckily enough to have them here for my Birthday which was incredible because I felt so loved. I was made to ware a great big butten that said it my birthday today and I had salmon cakes for dinner and a spelt and blubbery cake.

I also felt very loved from all my friends here in Belfast. My church family spoiled me I was suspired with Parity by Karin, Jenny, and Caroline. Where I was made Salmon and asparagus for dinner (there is a paten there) and a melon cake with candles. These three women whom I work with at church I some of the most loving friends who love Garnerville and the Youth there all three of them are so active and sing in the choir. We also have a good thing going called girls night where ware comfy clothing and which TV.




The other Volunteers also all came over to my house where Rachel and her mom cooked a great dinner. I’m so glad I got to share my friends with Rachel and vise versa. I'm blessed to have time with all of them. I was very sad to see Rachel and her mom drive away but I think God know we would appreciate the time together I mean what else could explain the Volcano?

strangers

Last march I was in a conference room that was set up for worship with about 70 strangers. I was there because I felt like I had no where else to go because the places where I wanted to stay I had grown out of.

I could no longer stay at Hollins. This was already in contrast, because at one point there was an opportunity to levee early which I considered manly for finances. I never really wanted to levee not in the August of 2008 or in May of 2009. Hollins was my home the people there had become my family we didn’t always agree but what family does. Some times there was sorrow but there was also joy, meals in the dining halls, hours spent sitting on the flour discussing dance and art and dreams. I felt intelligent at Hollins, no I could not spell or do times tables but I could discuses dance theory, theology, ancient art, and I was creating dances. I build a community for my self in my chaplaincy studies class and with the first year christen fellowship. With the dancer I dances along side and created with, the fencing club on epic drives to torments. Hollins was home.

last march I was sitting in a room with 70 strangers at a placement event for the young adult volunteers. I didn’t have any problem with the idea of going abroad. How ever one of the first things that was asked of us was to let go of are current community we where asked to turn off are phones for the week and not visit friends. We where asked to let the 70 strangers in the room be our community. I have to say I hated this idea and to be honest I broke this in several different ways. I went to visit a friend who went to seminary in Kentucky. I also had internet and would send emails home. I didn’t mind the idea of going abroad. How ever the idea of giving up my home my community terrified me. To be honest I tried the hole no contact thing for the first night. I was in tears but only after messaging a good friend and visiting with my friend Mike did I realizes. That it would be ok I was able to cheer up after that. I got to know my roommate Sara who is now in Peru whom I love and is my prayer partner for the year. I remember being able to laugh with people at meals and towards the end of my time worship became powerful and meaningful.

I came home to Hollins sat under my dorm hugging a friend still completely unsure of what was happening I was going to N. Ireland not because it was a life long dream but because I could not stay in the place I loved.

Last Friday I was teaching my dance class at the school.The dance club kids have come so far they worked on making up there own dances in small groups. And are able to inprov with out feeling self-conches and they laughing and smile the whole time. After school I walked up to peter and Alas for dinner before heading down to church for “The east end show” a choir contest for charity that the choir had work so hard to put together to raise money for Ecuador and Alshimors research. I helped the choir with movement for there songs and I danced not in ways I usually do, but I danced with the GB girls and with the SN@G member dressed as potato and I was asked to dance a solo. I was sounded by happy faces people who are my friends who tease me about trying to merry me off so I can get a visa to stay in Belfast. I was laughing and enjoying my self. The last song the choir sang in the show was from the musical Joseph. I was standing in the wing looking up at the people I have grown to love and realised with out knowing it I let my self have a new community one I love and one I feel that I am apart of. I feel the same as I did last march apart of a community I love but have to leave. Luckily I broke the rules, the same friends I wrote to last march I continue to write now. I also have many new friends. I have my Belfast YAV friends some of whom came to watch me dance this past week. And I have my church family. I am afraid of there not being a community next year. I worry that they is not one waiting for me but I look back at the communities I have been apart of and who supports me and I realizes that I have always been taken care of even when I’m afraid because leaving places has not meant leaving people, given the time 70 strangers are no longer strangers

February

My work here never cesses to be filled with verity. February is one really good example of verity.

On the 14th I lead worship. I wrote out the lituray and prayers. The theme of the Sunday was "God at work" so God in the work places. I fond out some cool things. For exmaple the word vocation means a calling. I like thinking about work as a calling. Maybe our job is not so different from out vocation if we are called to work weather reuality, Nursing, or accounting what does that mean? God goes with us every where we go not just to church or Bible study but work as well and we need to rember God in or work places. I also thought a lot about gossip how we threat the people we work with. I gave a children's sermmon using "is it nice, is it true, is it nessery" the idea being before you speak about some one else go throw your head is what I am saying kind? is it really true, do I know for a fact that so and so has gained 10 pounds? is it nessery do I need to be saying this at all? will it help someone? will it better lives by talking about a person in this way? I used tooth past to show that we can't take the things we say back like tooth pasest words once they are out they will not fit back in the tube. I thought a lot about people who can't find work. Lots of my friends who just finsed school can't find jobs in there feild and men and woman who have worked for years have lost there jobs becoues of the "credit crunch" as they call it here in Belfast.

I have also lead 2 of Gernville's all age worship times. We try to have the first part of the serces when kids are still in the room be a time that reaches every one. So the 1st Sunday of the month is a worship time together, 2nd a traddishnal object lesion or childern's talk. 3rd is dance/drama/ multisensory. 4th is other or any of the above. I used a beanie baby to talk about how God loves us just as childerns love there favourite stuffed animal. When they are lost there whole world stops till they are found. God loves us when we are dirty and have holes and are broken, and if we are in the washer getting a fresh start he will wait next to the maushen untill we are clean. For the presybteran weman sunday last week I build a Gernville maushen I had different member come up and make a movement and a nose they had to conect to the person in front of them. At the end they all did there movement one after the other. I used lots of different people from different groups in the church to talk about the body of Christ and how we need lots of kind of people to make a church work just like a meshean has lots of different parts.

This month I have been helping the choir get ready for a big concert in March. I also have started working at the school more on Fridays. I teach dance class to the preschool students in the moring lead a trust and insctive games with older kids (these are group building games I would us at camp) in the afternoon I teach dance to the P1 than have my usale dance class after school. I am also teaching a dance class onces a month in the commuinty center. I still go to all of my regler things Bowling, Childsplay and friendly club are in full swing (last week I was the entertament at friendly club so I did some reading). Also GB is geting ready for there big display so I have writen a play and am making a dance for them. One Big project I have been working on the last few month is a Sunday school teachers training day (it is tomrrow) I have been working together with the youth worker at another church. I am nervies about it but I love the Gernville techers and I hope it shows how much I aperchat them and that I just want to suport them way I am here.

Earlier in the month the YAVs and I had one of our retreats we went to the beach for a day on the west cost of Ireland. We also went in to Derry and herd a lot about the troubles there and how the people lived during that time we looked at murals that have been painted in an artistic responses to that time. We also drove a long the noth cost we stopped at the Giants causeway. It was a refusing time. A time to share storeys with friends, and rest as well as learn and grow. the pics are from that trip

Here and there

Well I now have lived in Belfast Northen Ierland Long enough to have picked up the slang words and some times the ascent. I have been here long enouth to fall in Love with the people I work with and another church family. I have been here long enough to miss my friends and family back in the states desperately but also dread the idea of leaving behind my new friends and home here in Belfast. It's an unusal feeling really.

I had a fantastic January becoues I had the best of both worlds. One of my best friends Meredith who is a sophomore at Hollins this year came over for the month she was doing an indapented study for her H-term she wrote a play based on the Dockers strike in 1907 it like 120 pages long it ver impress and smart. I got to not only got to spend time with her but I also got to show off all the things I love about Belfast and my church family here. Having her here help to high light all the things I knew I loved, but I could really seen them when pointing them out. I took her to church where she got to see me give a some what descent retelling of Horton hears a who for a childerns sermon. Also she went to bowling club with me and got to meet the group of peopl who have really adopted me. She really left an impression on them when she bowled by holding the ball with both hands and swing it between her legs. Also I was able to bring her to a SN@G meeting.

SN@G is our youth fellowship group at Grenville SN@G stands for Sunday nights at Gernville. It was named SN@G more becoues the youth wanted to here SN@G said in church it is a slang word for making out in Briton. All of the leaders are volunteers and have to be under 30 there are 5 leaders including me Jenny, Carline, Gram, and Karen. I became close to them on a weekend retreat we took the youth to. I also love the kids we have about 10 to 15 youth that come each week and we have a lot of fun. We play games including Wah, and a game called the moo game. Than we have a Bible study. There is always a lot of laughing.

I loved having Meredith here we went down south to Cork and Dublin. She also spent her 20th birthday whith me. She got to meet all of the other YAVs. Some how me being here is more real now that she has seen where I am, and meet my friends. I put her on a plain to go home on wednesday and I am heart broken. I realized as I put her on the plain how much of my heart is back in the states with her,my family, Rachel,my other friends dancing at Hollins, St. Andrews, and the list goes on. At the same time I realized in July I will have to leave another part of my heart in Belfast with the Bowlers, SN@G members, Peter adn Alsa, the community centre kids, and my students in my dance classes. So for now I am telling my self that time with Meredith was so worth the heart ace of another goodbye and in April I will have the nest of both world's when Rachel visits, and than in the summer when my family comes to visit. Than I am not sure what I am going to do becoues I will miss my Belfast family just as much.

Love you all where every you are

Patricia

Christmas in Belfast

Well I promised to be better about writing blogs but I am falling miserably. I siad I would write next about SN@G the youth group but I have decided to postpone it and talk about Christmas here in side.For the most part Britain celebrates Christmas like they do in the states but every thing is just slightly differnt. It like waking up in your own room but every thing is moved two inches to the left.

The Christmas corals have ether a differnt tune than I am used to or different words so I am usaly confused. In the end they give me the same worm feeling of Christmas. Starting with Cold wheather, it snowed the sunday befor Christmas. Like churches in the states they all celebrate Christmas differently. Grenville has a Nativity service on the 4th sunday of advent. We perpared for this for a month with extra rehusale on Friday nights and during sunday school. It was very cute and the kids worked hard to luern there lines and songs. I may have made a guest aperinse.

That same night Gernville has a Carols by Candlelight services. It was beautiful we read the nine scriptures and carols I got to read Isaiah9. The only word that triped my up was Zeal but luckily Jan taught me how to say Zeal my frist year at Hollins, so I did ok. The services was lovely and reminded me of Hollins wight gift serves.

A Chrsitmas eve services is not traditional in prodstent churches here. Gernville doesn't have one. but my Friend Lindys church does so I went to there 11;30PM carols services. she gave the message. It is traditional for churches to have a Christmas morning services. On Christmas moring the familys come to church and the kids bring there new toys. We sang 3 carols and I gave a childern's talk.

My Christmas was really nice. Sally and I decorated the house with decorations we found up stares so no fear we had a tree. Christmas eve I was invited to Peter and Alsa house Alsa is Swedish and they celebrate Christmas on Christmas eve. She cooked a traditonal Swedish Christmas meal. With smoked salmon and potatoes and anchovies and lots of other alsome stuff. I really enjoy spending time with there family and feel very at home around them. After the party I came home and talked to my parents, Rachel, and Meredith on the phone. I will not lie this made me very home sick I missed my family and my cloes friends and St. Andrews a lot on christmas eve. On Christmas morning I was over whelmed by things to open but it was not the gifts that where incredible it was the fact that I really have made so meny wonderful friends here. I felt loved and was fluded with kind faces and hugs I was not lonely at all for Christmas I have such a wonderful church family here in Belfast. Christmas day I went with Peter and family to his sisters' house for a traditional Christmas turkey dinner. Than on Boxing day which is the day after Christmas I went to another familys houes from church and had a great day and another turkey dinner. Needless to say I am any thing but lonely or hungry.

I hope you all had a wonderful blessed Christmas full of Gods love and grace. Have a happy new years

In Christ

patricia