Dancing, Living, Loving, Hoping

I have not written in over a year I felt it only far to my Belfast family that I let you know what I have been up to this last year!

Dancing: Well as you can imagine I have not stopped dancing since I posted last I finished a peace based on interviews form Rita Livingstone’s and Satie Heart. I performed the dance in Utah, and in FL with Braided light dance project. I was a member of there company for the remainder of 2011. I showed my work with them as well as thought dance classes and performed in other work. Over the summer I predicted a Show called “Legend” (the title was so in honor of Jenny) I made 4 dances and Meredith levy wrote 4 short plays. In between the pieces blogs former YAVs had written where read allowed. All together the event had a hundred people there and we raised close to $600 for the YAV program. It was important to me to talk about my time in Belfast with the people who had helped me get there and where my church family. I will be honest it was hard for me to talk about my time in Belfast at first. Not every one wanted to hear and much more than it was great. So I started to heal by dancing and sharing that dance with people I love moved me through a wilderness of transitioning back in to the USA.

see a film of the dance "Wee hearts of the Shankill" http://vimeo.com/23378858

Living: Well I have worked in many places over the last year. I finished up my time at Wolfson children’s Hospital in August. There I worked with a program called Godly Play we told the stories to children whom where chronically Ill. I love this work but hospital work is varying darning. I became close to many of the children and teens. I had one patent a 15-year-old girl. Who I would go and see 2 times a week. She was in the hostel for about 6 months on and off. Her favorite story was the Parable of the great Pearl so at lest once a week if not twice a week I would tell her the story of the kingdom of heaven and how we had to give up every thing we have for it. Sadly in May she went into a coma I held her hand and recited the parable of the great pearl to her and reminder her of the kingdom of heaven. She died a few days later. The power of the Godly play stories in these kids lives I will take with me where ever I go however my heart aced a little to much to stay on at the hospital even thou they would have kept me.

Than I worked at a residential School in VA so I moved my self and my belongs back to VA. There I lived with 10 girls between the ages of 11 and 16. Who have learning difficulties vary similar to my own learning disability dyslexia. I loved these Kids and the staff I worked with. My favorite part was that I got to teach dance and drama for an hour a week. The 10 kids I worked with put on a show at the end of the semester of both dances and plays. I was thrilled to see kids remember line who struggle so much with words. And exploded in to dances. I did struggle there as well I was eating in the dinning hall and with my food restriction with allergies I was just making my self sick and I was not the high energy person I usually am. So when a job opportunity came to work in a church as the coordination of christen formation. Working with Sunday school and youth in the same city as a few of my best friends I felt I was being called to move again.

I now live in my own apartment with a kitchen where I can cook lots of allergy free foods I’m back to baking my own bread. I could not be happier my new church family at Christ Episcopal church of Roanoke has been vary welcoming and they have helped me get set up in a new apartment. My rector is also a Hollins grad and she is smart and cares greatly for the member of the church. I also love the work I am writing a curriculum for the middle school Sunday school class. Meet with youth and plan events like pancake dinner. (I know breakfast for dinner is a little weird in Belfast be we love it!) I also get to keep working with Godly play is the curriculum the church use for Sunday school for there younger children. So far I have enjoyed the people the most getting to know them. I had a youth spoil your dinner night where I got to meet with some of the youth. And we played games like whaaa and I even tried playing the MOO game. When I am not working at the church I am teaching dance class at the Roanoke Ballet Theater.

Loving: Lots of things have also been changing with my family and friends. Rachel spent the summer working with the homeless in NC. She feels a real call to work with the homeless and now feels more of duration in her future ministry she is now in her 2^nd semester of seminary. Meredith is now a senior at Hollins working on her BA in theater she has written a play and is staging it her self and has performed in 4 shows this year. My brother Trevor and soon to be sister in-law are getting married in May and the whole family is in the wedding. Also my parents and the boys have also had a big move. My Dad got a new job as the head of pastoral care in Allentown PA. It is a 23-drive hour from FL where I grow up. My mom has started with a new Church and the twins a new school. It has been a sad times but also a new beginning. However I am still not used to FL no longer being where we will spend Christmas. I am excited to visit them however Allentown is where my Dad grow up so we have family there and my Godparents are there as well. I feel vary at home in VA I get to spent a lot more time with friends whom I have missed the last few years. I feel settled for the first time since leaving Belfast. Rob another Belfast YAV who was in my group and I are now dating He is in seminary in Richmond VA. I love that we now live only a few hours away and can visit and spend time together I was able to here him give a sermon at his home church and spent Christmas spent between each others families. Andy also lives in VA and Rob and I visit with him when we can. Meredith lives 20 mints always and we actually have a hard time believing that when we say goodbye it’s not going to be 3 months till we see each other again. I have reconnected with friends from collage and am dancing again.

Hoping: I am hoping that wherever you are you have been as blessed and have felt the last few weeks. I spent a lot of time in the wilderness wondering where I was meant to live and what I was meant to be doing. Feeling vary lost. However I feel I would not be so grounded now and with a sense of perspective if I had not fought throw so much wondering.

A New YEAR

Dear Friends,

It’s now a New Year. I can easily look back and see right where I was this time last year. I was sitting in a little house on Aigburth Park Road with my good friend Meredith who had just arrived in a Belfast airport along with my house mate Sally. At the time I could not look ahead and imagine where I would be today--or what kind of adventures I would tackle along the way to get here.

I have spent the last 5 months in what the YAV program has labeled the wilderness. I learned all about the wilderness at the YAV reentry retreat in Oct when all of the YAVs went to the Ghost Ranch, a Presbyterian conference center in New Mexico. I got to visit with my Belfast YAV friends all except Nathanial who is now back in Belfast. It was a hard weekend and a great one all at the same time. It was comforting to be surrounded by others who have experienced a similar year as me. It was a weekend filled with lots of tears and laughter. Sadly it was the most recent time I have seen my YAV friends but I am sure it will not be the last.

I have discovered that a part of my wondering in the wilderness has included traveling. When I first returned to the States I did not go straight to FL. I got off in New Jersey where I got to stay with Meredith saw her for the first time since last January. Together we traveled to the city my dad was born in and visited my Godparents and my Aunt Naomi as well as going to visit her grandparents. We spent time in New Jersey with her wonderful family. I than drove her to Hollins and helped her get moved in for the semester, before heading to FL. I also have made a trip out to San Francisco which for those of you in Brittan is a three day drive cross county; luckily I had a plain ticket. There I was reunited with Rachel who is going to seminary out there. I got to visit with all her wonderful friends. We had a great time walking the streets of the city and going on hikes.

When I first got to FL I truly had no plan no places. Luckily my parents have offered me a place to live. And I moved back in to the room I lived in during high school. I spent the first 2 weeks putting things in and out of boxes. Removing objects that felt strange to me and putting out the things that were familiar from my time at Hollins and in Belfast. 5 years is a long time to live away than come back. I am happy to say I have settled in better now. The things that felt foreign and strange are slowly becoming familiar again and bring with them memories of my past. I have gotten a part time job as a Godly Play story teller at the children’s Hospital I worked at in High school. I am very blessed to not only have a job but one where I feel I am doing something positive. I also am contracted to dance with a local dance company here in Jacksonville for a few of there spring performances. My job ends in May so I am still constantly searching for the next step and next places to go. I am hoping to head north. But we will see where the wind blows me.

The wilderness is frightening--the number of people unemployed or underemployed is frighteningly high. The number of empty houses on my street because family’s homes were foreclosed is overwhelming. So for now I have given in to the wilderness; fighting the unknown is an impossible feat. One that I have discovered is exhausting. It’s better to just wonder for awhile. The wilderness is always hard and it’s always scary but once you have come out your always stronger than before your went in. So I have enjoyed being near my family-- going to see Taylor play cello--helped Timmy with his technical theater projects--going to movies with Trevor and Kim and being a part of worship services my parents have led. I also got to spend Christmas back with friends I have not seen in a long time including my godson. If the wilderness has so many moments of blessing I can keep facing it.

I spent a lot of time thinking and praying for my friends whether there in California, Pennsylvania, Utah, New Jersey, Virginia, Scotland or Belfast. I am sad that I am not with all these people whom I love and who have supported me along my journey. However I am so blessed to have each of you as a part of life’s journey and will be forever thankful for you.

In Christ and Love Patricia

“Did you forget to pack your teddy or perhaps he wasn’t ready”

Almost all of the good byes have been said and yet agene I am lost for words. I have always been attached to things not new things but well loved things that reminded me of people I love. So I am going end the way I started before coming to Northern Ireland I was asked in my small group to share 3 things I was making sure to bring with me and three things I had to leave behind. The rules are no people our eales I would need two plans. I am also going to add to things I am looking forward to agene and nothing can repeat from the begging f the year.


Things I am looking forward to agene

1. CHACOS, my sandals with I love and have not worn in over a year because it is far to cold hear for them so they where left with Rachel.
2. YELLOW SUMMER SQUASH, I know weird but it is true I miss this food and I could not find it any ware hear
   
3. MY BOOKS, so many books all my books on dance history and my collection of art folios my OXFORED andtaed study bible. Anne lament books and books books books
   

Things I was sure to bring with me

1. JEWLEY, I was given lots this year as gifts but tree peace inparticuler I was give a necklace from the teacher at the primary school where I thought dance class this year along with huge homemade cards from my students. I was given another necklaces that looks a little like a shooting stare from my church family that I will love for ever it reminds me that even though I am going to be far away I will still be under the same sky as my church family hear, than the world seems smaller. Last a bracelet from the bowlers are group of people who just adopted me.
2. A MAP OF THE STATE OF VA, It hung in Andy and Robs flat they are my closet YAV friends. They both grow up in VA and we all went to school there. In a lot of ways if feels as if VA is where I am meant to be going back to like I just did another semester abroad. The three of us would hang out and I would call them VA days. They gave me the map and wrote don’t forget your other home state.
3. A BENNIE BABY DALMATION NAMED DOTTY, It was left on my bed by it owner Meredith in January she brot him with her but sadly he got left behind. But I took good care of him and sadly got very attached. He road in my bag to Galway, Cork, Ayr, Obion, Iona, Inverness, and back to Belfast. I think he is ready to go home to Jersey to be with Meredith and he will get there tomorrow
   

Things I have to leave behind

1. TEA POT, Evelyn gave me a very cute brown tea pot to make tea in I loved it I used it all year and I thought of her each time but I didn’t have room to pack it so it is staying in Belfast for the next sets of YAVs
2. PURPLE WELLIE BOOTS, (rain boots) They where sent in the mail by Rachel for my birthday and I love them to death latterly I ware them so much this spring walking to church and back and in skits for J-team than I put holes in them and well as much as I love them and the reminded me of how much I love Rachel they just didn’t seem very practical to bring home siens the leak and take up a lot of room. So I give them to Caroline because they where to notores around Garnerville to just throw away.
3. MY STIKY NOTE PRAYER WALL, I was my 2nd prayer wall to build and take down. I would write my prayer on them and but them on the wall, on them was a log of a years of prayer for people every where for friends in the states and friends in Belfast and YAVs all over the world. Even though my wall had to come down the payers are never gone they go with me and with that I have faith that everyone I love and all the world will go with me as well.
   

Thank you for all you support for reading this silly blog but mostly for your love
IN Christ and Love
Patricia

Reflection on a year

Well my family is hear and we have been traveling around it is strange to be a tourist in a places that has been my home for a year. My family has teased me about the change in my voice and the praherss I use and because of this they are slipping away. Which means my time in Britten and this year really is coming to an end. A lot has happened this year and trying to pin point moments or places that could talk about does not seem useful. Instead at the end what I have are the things about my self that has changed.

First off there are the odefeved changes like physical changes I have lost some weight this year and they why I dress has changed because it is well cold hear all the time so my FL shorts and camp t’s have retired to sweaters and trouser. And boots.
The 2nd are the changes in my life stile. I learned how to live on my own this year I became independent cooking for my self and budgeting. My diet has also changed drastically. Last October I made escalades and all of a sudden was having trouble breathing and had unpleasant hives. I reallesd my food allergy’s have gotten out of control and that I had to find a way to handle them. So after lots of research and consternation I began to eat an Anti-inflammatory diet. Which has been nick named Annie by Meredith and the Food it self Patriciables by Andy. The basic run down is that allegers feed off of prodigals in inflammation both in ways that help and hinder a body’s respond to food allergies. So I eat foods that help to reduce inflammation like fish, nuts seeds, EVO, and don’t eat foods that coues inflammation such as red meat/pork, wheat, diary, sugar, potatoes, corn, tomatos, citrus fruit. So I eat lots of chicken and fish and have learned to back bread and muffins with spelt flour and buckwheat and honey inside of sugar. I make homemade soup and love cooking new recipes. I also always carry my epipens
Along with my diet I have tried to embrace the YAVs idea of living simple by attempting to reduce my carbon foot print and being conces of where the things I bye come from. Sally and I turned on and off the hot water that why we where not using electricity to perduts hot water when we where not using it. I swished off all electricity outlets on the wall. YES EVEN WHEN we have nothing plugged in to outlets it gives off electricity. You would not believe how much energy it takes to run the little blinking blue light on your TV when it is off. I did not use a dishwasher or dryer once this year hand washing dishes and hanging all clothing on a line. I made sure to only buy eco friendly soups so that the chemicals leaving my house throw the drain would not hurt the envment. I used reusable bags. And even bought toilet roll and kitchen roll made from 100% resxcaled materials. I also read books on climent change and tried my best to shop fair trade and at 2nd hand stores when possible. You may think that’s all well and good but it is expense but like I said I learned to budged this year and I decided that even if it cost more to be socially conches you can do it with in a budget so inside of taking buses I walked places and saved money eating in inside of out. Making it possible to live this way. I hope I don’t loose these habits because they have taken time a long time and it is essay to throw out a can inside of carrying it home to a recycling bin but I have tried to teach myself the value in it.
I have also changed in my views of the world. I have seen first hand that hate for the sack of hate and lack of understanding is very prevalent in are world and that we are a long way away form living together with understanding of different beliefs and ideas. But I have also experacest that as long as there are people who contuion to love and care about this world and it people there is hope of understanding. The reality is it is not going to just go away and world peace really is just some idea beauty queens use in their speech’s for miss America. How ever I did get to witness change this year not in big ways but in the introducing of different ways of working together, such as dancing together. Dancing together causes a group of people to look at them self’s defiantly relates to each other on a new leave one that doesn’t always need words but the feelings that a groups of dancing moving body’s all from different places and backgrounds experience together. In new ideas new ways of viewing and feeling the world change is possible and will continue to be possible as long as we all look for what we can bring to the world that will help other to experiences the world in a new way.
How ever the changes and the new ideas I brought to Belfast is not just where the changes lie I also had to learn to look for the change I had to allow my self to be changes by the new experiences I was receiving by the new people I was meeting who thought and talked and where different from me. Who allowed me to stop and look at my self? I have to remember that I have to change as well if I want the world to change for the better that my ideas and my views are not the same as every one else and that even when I disagree I will be better for stopping and listening and learn from people who have different views from me. Only than can you truly understand your own views.

into the wilderness

Biff and Betty’s Final Appearance

Betty – Biff! Biff! Where are you?

Biff peaks out from tent

Betty – Biff! Do you know where he is? Biff! Where? In the tent? Biff, what are you doing in there?

Biff – I don’t want to go home!

Betty lifts tent flap

Betty – Biff! Come on, we have to get going. We need to go home.

Biff – I am NOT leaving. I love it here. I love going swimming in the lake, and playing games in the Redwood Forest, and cooking in the Canteen...

Betty – I know Biff, but we have to go home. You had fun this week, right?

Biff – Yes, I had so much fun, and I don’t want it to stop!

Betty – Well, we need to get back and tell everybody about the fun we had. You can’t just stay here forever?
Biff – Yes I can. I’m staying right here. Nobody else needs to know.

Betty – But Biff, we have to tell everybody else, so they can come next time and have fun with us.

Biff – So if I tell them, they can come next time? Well, that would be more fun...

Betty – Of course it would! Then there would be more people to play with, and go to the Tent with, and to cook with in the Canteen.
Biff – That would be better. But I really don’t want to leave right now. Can’t we tell them later?

Betty– Well, Biff, I think there is a story in the Bible about this kind of thing. Maybe it will give you the answer...

Biff – what’s that story?

Betty – Well, let me see.... When Jesus was resurrected, he told the disciples to go and tell all people about Him and the stories that He told. They went out straight away and told everyone.

Biff – They told everyone?

Betty – Yep

Biff – So, do we have to tell everyone?

Betty – Well, not right now. We could start by telling the people here? Would you do that?




This past week has been a whorl win of excitement! Caroline Dyers and I took on Garnerville summer program which they call J-team which is like vacation Bible school in the states. We where filling some very big shoes. Margit McGarvy has run J-team for years and years and is one of the most talented and loving people I have ever met. And I have learned a lot form her this year. But Jenny who is her daughter is getting married in a week so she was a little busy this summer. So Caroline and I took it on.

We took on the project we wrote a crulium than works with in the ideas of multbule intelligences. Each kid would learn the same story but in 5 different ways every day. Trying to reach as many different learning types.

We decide to set the theme of camping for the week so we turned the church in to the wilderness. When you walked in to the church you ran in to a campsite, tent, trees a camp stove, a boat, fishing polls. The kids would sit in the groups. We had the beaver, bears, wolfs, squirrels, eagles. There they would meet up with there trail blazer who stayed with them all day walking them fro class to class and joining in the games and activates. We would have a group opening where we started with engerzers so from the states and some form Belfast. Thoues of you in the states be ready for okay do key karaoke and Mr. cow. Than Biff and Betty would show up and usually they would be in trouble and it was often Biffs fault. Where Biff was stuck in a tent or there was rubbish all over their camp sit. Or Biff went swimming where he was not suppose to, and my personal favourite when they got lost not only hiking but from each other. Typically this ended in sending out the campers and trailblazers to come back and tell them about a story that may help Biff and Betty solve their problem.
The camper and trailblazers would then visit the Park rangers at different cheek points for 15 mins than move to the next. There was the tent where they would lesions to the story, there was the cove where there was an arts and crafts, the camp fire was drama where kids got up and acted story’s out, there was canteen where they had cooking class/a sank that related to the story, and the redwood forest where they played games.

We ended each day by coming back together and sing songs together. Andy another young adult volunteer helped us lead music. The week had so much energy around it and we had people helping from different church’s different countries and yet it felt like one big family working with a conmen goal of giving the 40 kids in the room two hours where they could be kids have fun and hear about gods love. To be hosnt I think they way these kids slaw god this week was not in the music or in the story’s or in the decorated rooms but in the devotion of the leaders and Garnerville church from the women who came in every morning to serve tea and coffee to parents to the young leaders who sang songs and did dances right next to the kids and the teachers who cut fruit help lead skits told story’s and played games. On Friday was had a lunch for all the leaders and we enjoyes just being together and talking about the week. I got to now so many people even better than before I have seen the Garnerville member in action and there is nothing they can’t do.

There was so much love around the week and this was evident in the clouesing services on Sunday J-team took the serves the kids showed off their art and acting some of the skits they made. Sang some of the course and yelled there group cheers. After words there was tea for parents and kids and the whole church got to wander in and out of the rooms and see the places the kids where for the last week. Than with out any complaints it was cleaned but packed away in 5 mins because so many people helped.

During the closing severs Biff and Betty made a final appearances. Biff sat in a tent and screamed I not going home. Now I have to say Caroline wrote the skit but getting to throw that fit as if I was Biff is pretty telling to how I feel right now. Patricia also wants to sit on the flour and throw a tantrum saying I not leaving I am not going I love it hear I am loved hear. The thing is I not really sure when it happened or how it happened but this has become my home. At the same time I know that I am not meant to stay I hope there are things I meant to do when I go. Like Betty’s says I hope there are people who need to hear about the things I have seen and learned the one big differences is it feels like I am leaving home like I am now going in to the wilderness and I am leaving behind what feels safe and familiar.

So I am packing up my year into two suite cases and brief case and a gutter case. I am spending time with the People I love hear going to the museum with the Clarks lunch with the McDowell family. Sleep over with Caroline and going to the movies. Had a girls night with Karen and Jenny and Caroline, Making one last dances with Rachel, and hanging with the other YAVs Rob by the way he has the pox’s so I have made bread and brought over soup.

My Family Gets hear in 9 days that day Jenny gets marred. Than Sunday the 25th is my last Sunday at Garnerville and a goodbye party for the YAVs than a first family vacation since leaving for collage and visiting friends in Scotland who I have not seen in 2 years. Than on a plane to New Jersey for time with Meredith than into the wilderness.

Taking off my wristwatch

Taking off my wristwatch is an old habit one that started in the 6th grade. There was a dress code for dance class. Hair was in a bun with a hair net gelled back no loess end and absolutely no bangs or hair in faces. Pink tights and black leotards, with pink ballet shoes or point shoes. Or if it was modern class black tights rolled up to my knees. There was also no jewelry or panted nails so every day I got in to the habit of taking of my watch and putting it in my tennis shoe so I would not forget it as I ran to math class after dance. It became a ritual a habit that was just apart of whom I am. My very first dance class at Hollins I was in the dressing room and I asked what the dress code was and the other women all older than me just smiled and said there wasn’t one. It funny how habits die hard I had to wean my self in to being comfortable dancing with out the leotard and tights. First by warring trouser on top of my tights and leotard than I started warring a shirt over as well, till finely I was confidant dancing in clothing similar to what people would wear to a yoga class. I also cut bangs in to my hair for the first time my senior year. Now you really would have to pay me to put a leotard back on. Taking off the watch and putting it in my shoe has stuck how ever. It’s the dance class habit from six grad that has stuck.

I realized this on Wednesday when I took off my watch and stuck it in my shoe as I walked in to the pro dance class I take with Maiden Voyage Dance Company. Taking off my watch is practical yes, it does mean I will not scratch up the flour and not wearing it makes it essayer to move. It also means I let go of time for that hour and a half I not checking to see how much time is left or if its getting close to when I need to get on the bus all that matters is the class. I try to dance as best I can and let go of schedule and list of earned that have to get done. I also try to let go of every thing that came before and the harder one for me right now the future. Inside I try to dance in the present I try to find a flow where all that matters is the sequences of movements where the hold world would be crashing around me but all I know is the dancing.

I have four weeks lefts working at Garnerville and Good-bye have already begun. I was given one of the nicest goody byes from my students at the primary school. And we had are final dance class together. Thursday was my last after schools club and today I am have a party get together for the group of dancer I have been working with at church. I’m trying to take of the wristwatch. Trying to give the people I have worked with my completely present when I am with them. I will not lie it hard it so hard. I am fearful of the future not knowing is scary not knowing what I will be doing who I will be near is stressful. How ever I have not been forgotten. I have loved the people and places I have worked with this year and even thou I do have to think about time I have to fill out job applications. And think about health insurance and how to pay the bills. I am going to do my best to take off my wristwatch and be present with my Belfast family.






This moth I traveled to London with Andy and his friend Katie we had a great time. I took professionals drop in class at the places contemporary school of dance. We went to museums and slaw a couple of shows including Henry the IV at the Shakespeare glob.

I do have some very exacting things to look forward to as well my Family is coming very soon in 4 weeks! My parent and my brothers are coming over and I can’t wait to share with them the places and people I have grown to love. We are also going to travel and spend time with good friends in Scotland. Than I get to fly to the states and see Meredith and Rachel and that moment when I give them each a hug and probably cry like a baby can not get hear fast enough.

All I want is to dance and help

I have been very busy the last moth or so. Work has been excited with several different things.

We had a Sunday school away weekend at a place called child haven. We took the kids there and played games, made crafts played rounder’s (which is really just baseball it took me a few hits how ever to figer that out) worshiped together, rolled down hills. And made daisy chains. I had a great time will all my Garnerville friends the leader had a tendency to stay up very late chatting.

Also we had our childernday church services this past week where I was coned in to teaching a school from camp Montgomery. One with dance moves and sounds. I secretly loved every min of it. It was also one of many ends that are beginning to happen. I realized I would not be a Sunday school teacher in the fall. I am going to miss the later of the other teacher’s trumdisly not to mention a huge number of kids who have made me laugh and played ever game I taught. I feel I belong with this group of people. They have become my family.

Even though things are ending as the school year comes to another close I still have lots to look to before I return to the states. I am still teaching in the school on Fridays so I have dance class to prepare. I am even giving the school assemble this week. I am also co leading and creating VBS for the summer it called J-team at Garnerville. And I am very excited for that it is the first week of July. I am also in a dance for film by a local Belfast coregerfer who I have met at the dancer research base hear in Belfast. We start rehusing Thursday. And I have great YAV friends hear to hang out with for another couple of months. I went to Lisburn this past weekend to visit my friends Rob and Andy.

Andy is helping me by collaborating and composing a score for a dance I am make based on interviews I have had with older church member in Belfast. I am interested in childhood memories told 70 years later. What things remain what and is the facts left in or memory’s and how have exercised changes are views. I am hoping to turn it in to a dance for film. Before my time in Belfast runs out.

My groups of dancer at church are doing something very exciting. Rachel for my Birthday gave me a book called “An Alter In The World” by Barbra Brown Taylor. (Rachel is so good and know just what I need to read) it all about seeing the holy in the every day the chapter I read to the dancer was on god in nacher in the natural alters God has made. SO They are making the dance. I had each for them go out side and find an object study learn as much as the y could about it. Than make a solo around there object. And they are some of the most bueful dances I have ever seen. They are simply and thoughtful each step they take is mindful. It makes me want to be 12 agene almost.

Also my family comes at the end of July and we are going to travel till mid august together which is exciting. However the time after that is scary I am not sure where I am going or what I am going to do. I would rather keep living in these moments. Than move into the unknown that is so donating. I was very distort about it today I was talking to Meredith and was asked “well Tricia what do you want to do what will make you happy” and I answered that I did not know. It all seems so dark and with out any light at the end of the tunnel. I am so blessed to have friends who love me even when I am grumpy and afraid thank Meredith, Rachel, Mom, Dad, Andy, Rob, Peter, Aunt Fonda and every one else who has listened to me frit and worry these last few months I love you all.

Funnily how ever this evening I found comfort in my own words. The class of 2010 websites are up on Hollins dance and after looking throw them being very prod of my friends and there work. I vested my own web site and reread my artiest statement. It’s posted below. I found the words I wrote last year to be the same this year. I think dance is my vehicle for change. And how I am able to view the world what that means I have NO idea. But I find some comfort in realizing I do have an idea of what I am good at and how I make a difference.





Artist’s Statement


Not an end but a new beginning


I have quite a few works but I don’t want to talk about them individually but instead about why I choose to dance and make dances. I have been dancing for as long as I can remember. Not dancing would be similar to not breathing.


I like process, not just my own, but also others. I like the time spent in rehearsals and in movement class. It sustains me when I enter a studio. I leave every thing else at the door.
I make work that reflects my history. I find an idea that I am interested in and try and learn everything there is to know about it. I research a subject as if I am writing a research paper, but instead of writing a paper I create a dance. I often look at what is next to the idea instead of the idea itself. I choose a process or a game that best fits the idea in order to create movement. It’s different with each dance.


The ideas come from my family history, cell phones, Dr. Seuss, and musical theatre. Often my dances are commenting on these ideas and how they have affected my life, or many people’s lives. I believe you can say things in dances you could never get away with in words. Dancing is how I have gotten through a world that is so heavily dependent on words. But words are so often misunderstood and mixed up or spelled wrong for me. But my dancing body always seems to say what I ask it to or it informs me what it is thinking.


For me a dance “lives” not necessarily on the stage but in the interactions between me and the dancers I have asked to work with me. Just the fact that they are willing to spend the time to come and play my dance making games is an honor. At some point you have to let go of the dance and let the dancers hold the dance up. They are the ones on the stage. I try my best to create a rehearsal space that is healthy and useful for both the dancers, who are my friends, and myself. I hope they leave feeling that I value their time and ideas.


All I want is to dance and help. It is impossible to change the whole world. But with hard work and planning it is possible to make change in this world. I believe dance is the gift I was given as my vehicle for change.


“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life thought the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” –Dr. Seuss


“Public art hence becomes a vehicle of connection, a means to realize and recognize the common, a medium for people to gather together to reflect on the very idea of being together.” – Randy Martin